come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
