I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
