If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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