yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
