Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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