im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just had sex bonerless
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
