What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
