All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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