Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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