haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he thought i was a dude.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
