new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Come on in and take your pants off
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