just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My ass is underappreciated
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
