you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
