this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You ruined the universe
Randomize
