I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
