I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
