idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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