Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
