Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She's JV to your varsity
I met the friendliest cop last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
