im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need moral support for this bender
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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