she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
