Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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