Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
