i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
