this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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