I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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