I can't watch pbs sober anymore
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
