We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
