Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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