anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
