If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
