True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
