I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
