I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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