Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
