just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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