so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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