Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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