1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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