Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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