you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
