Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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