it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
