I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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