What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize