her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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