I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
