The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
