I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
