He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
