Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
